COLLECTION of left overs for ADULTS during EASTER BREAK
Two Irishmen were waiting at the bus stop
When a truck went past loaded up with rolls of turf.
Jimmy said, gonna do dat when I win da lottery.
What's dat den? asks Mikey.
"Send me lawn away to be mowed."
What's dat den? asks Mikey.
"Send me lawn away to be mowed."
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Supposedly the best joke re Trump:
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
Donald Trump and Barack Obama ended up at the same barber shop. As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber, not a word was spoken.
The barbers were both afraid to start a conversation, for fear that it would turn nasty.
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
As the barbers finished their shaves in silence, the one who had Trump in his chair reached for the aftershave.
But Donald was quick to stop him, jokingly saying, "No thanks. My wife, Melania, will smell that and think I've been in a brothel."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?"
Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
The second barber turned to Barack and said, "How about you, Mr. Obama?"
Barack replied, "Go right ahead, my wife, Michelle, doesn't know what the inside of a brothel smells like."
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FROM KANDY
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THE MIRACLE OF A SHEET OF TOILET PAPER
Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: 'If you want your breasts to grow,
Fresh from my shower, I stood in front of the mirror complaining to my husband that my breasts are too small.
Instead of romantically telling me this is not true, he uncharacteristically comes up with a suggestion: 'If you want your breasts to grow,
then take a piece of toilet paper and rub it between them for a few seconds 3 times every day.'
Willing to try anything, I got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
'How long will this take?' I asked.
'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.
I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts 3 times every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'
Without missing a beat he said, 'Worked for your bum, didn't it?'
The idiot is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man......
Willing to try anything, I got a piece of toilet paper and stood in front of the mirror, rubbing it between my breasts.
'How long will this take?' I asked.
'They will grow larger over a period of years,' my husband replies.
I stopped. 'Do you really think rubbing a piece of toilet paper between my breasts 3 times every day will make my breasts larger over the years?'
Without missing a beat he said, 'Worked for your bum, didn't it?'
The idiot is still alive, and with a great deal of therapy, he may even walk again although he will probably continue to take his meals through a straw.
Stupid, stupid man......
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TRUMP
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One very good advertisement.-by Durex
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| This is a genuine Advertisement from 1964 when WD-40 was first released. |
Their advertising department sure had a delightful way with words and a great sense of humour!.
(I doubt you will see anything similar nowadays - even though little has changed over the years.
Don't you just love the Irish.
Mirror
After living in the remote countryside of Ireland all his life, an old
Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin.
In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it.
Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image
staring back at him.
'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the
way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in
the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go
there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed.
So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed,
'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with.'
Irishman decided it was time to visit Dublin.
In one of the stores, he picks up a mirror and looks into it.
Not ever having seen a mirror before, he remarked at the image
staring back at him.
'How 'bout that! he exclaims, 'Here's a picture of my Fadder.'
He bought the mirror thinking it was a picture of his dad, but on the
way home he remembered his wife didn't like his father, so he hung it in
the shed, and every morning before leaving to go fishing, he would go
there and look at it.
His wife began to get suspicious of his many trips to the shed.
So, one day after her husband left, she went to the shed and found the mirror.
As she looked into the glass, she fumed,
'So that's the ugly bitch he's running around with.'
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While riding my Harley, I swerved to avoid hitting a deer, lost control and landed in a ditch, severely banging my head.
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with
a very beautiful woman who asked,
"Are you okay?" As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
"I'm okay, I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look. She said,
"Get in and I'll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated,
"I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away, and after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said,
"I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of breasts I've ever seen.
"Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess."
Dazed and confused I crawled out of the ditch to the edge of the road when a shiny new convertible pulled up with
a very beautiful woman who asked,
"Are you okay?" As I looked up, I noticed she was wearing a low cut blouse with cleavage to die for...
"I'm okay, I think," I replied as I pulled myself up to the side of the car to get a closer look. She said,
"Get in and I'll take you home so I can clean and bandage that nasty scrape on your head."
"That's nice of you," I answered, "but I don't think my wife will like me doing that!"
"Oh, come now, I'm a nurse," she insisted. "I need to see if you have any more scrapes and then treat them properly."
Well, she was really pretty and very persuasive. Being sort of shaken and weak, I agreed, but repeated,
"I'm sure my wife won't like this."
We arrived at her place which was just few miles away, and after a couple of cold beers and the bandaging, I thanked her and said,
"I feel a lot better, but I know my wife is going to be really upset, so I'd better go now."
"Don't be silly!" she said with a smile, while unbuttoning her blouse exposing the most beautiful set of breasts I've ever seen.
"Stay for a while. She won't know anything. By the way, where is she?"
"Still in the ditch with my Harley, I guess."
Take care and enjoy
Some girls know the right pose
Click here to watch some more pics...
http://www.nidokidos.org/threads/262479-Some-girls-know-the-right-pose
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Posted by: Saville Express International <yourfriend.chukki@gmail.com>
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