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    Tuesday, December 4, 2012

    [nidokidos] A thought to ponder for the seniors !

     

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    A thought to ponder for the seniors !

    WHEN PARENTS GIVE THEIR MONEY TOO EARLY . . .


    (Phil. Star Article by: Letty Jacinto-Lopez )

    At their 54th anniversary, my friends made a decision to distribute their
    combined assets among their living heirs. Their rationale, Para walang gulo
    . (To avoid trouble). They added one proviso: While still alive, income
    from these properties will be used to maintain our present lifestyle
    inclusive of medical expenses, extravagant trips and unlimited shopping.

    That's easy, replied the heirs. The income was substantial to indulge the
    old folks with a bonus that the heirs can use in any manner they wanted.

    The first year passed without a hitch, but soon the problem surfaced. Each
    child used all kinds of tactics to keep the money from his parents. It
    reached a point where the poor retirees had to beg for sustenance, robbing
    them of the dignity they worked hard to uphold.

    What went wrong?

    Bad decision, said a cautious friend who warned the couple of this scenario
    . Children are so unreliable when it comes to inherited money. Money
    received, which was not expected and not a direct result of something they
    worked for, is not given the same value as money earned with their own
    sweat and tears. They lose their sense of propriety; gratitude is tainted
    by greed and decency gone. This is compounded by in-laws who can tilt or
    convince their respective spouses to throw out good sense and filial
    affection like soiled rugs, Honey, they're going to die anyway, so why
    waste good money on them?

    To avoid falling into this vulnerable, pitiful state, keep these 10 tips in
    mind:

    1. Do not retire. If you're over-aged, retire and get all the benefits but
    find another income-generating job or open a business that will keep you
    active physically and mentally. Travel and bond with true friends, play a
    sport, learn a new hobby and volunteer in your community or parish. Don't
    loaf around. Your spouse will hate you because you've become a sloppy,
    listless bum with nothing good to say about the household and things that
    you never bothered about before. Solve crossword puzzles, play Scrabble,
    write your memoirs, and above all, read ...this will keep you alert and
    keep Alzheimer's at bay.

    2. Live in your own place to enjoy independence, privacy and a solo life.
    If you move in with your children, your rank or degree of importance is
    reduced to that of a bed spacer who has no place of honor or, worse, like
    crumbling furniture merely displayed with no added value. Might you kowtow
    to conform to their own rules that are not kind, considerate or mindful of
    you? If you witness your children engaged in a war of will and wits with
    your grandchildren, whom will you side with? Will they even appreciate your
    arbitration? Remind your children that silence is not a sign of weakness;
    you are merely processing data that is taking longer to complete.

    3. Hold on to your nest egg, bank deposits and assets. If you want to help
    your children, do give, but not to the extent that you wipe out your life's
    earnings, singing heroically not a shirt on my back nor a penny to my name.
    Staying solvent and in the black is a good hedge against all kinds of
    tempests. You will sleep better, you will not be afraid to express your
    opinion and you will be confident about yourself.

    4. Don't believe your children's promise to care for you when you grow old.
    Priorities change. Many children are not guilt-ridden or filled with a
    sense of moral obligation when the wife and offspring take top billing in
    their lives. There are still children who would consider it a privilege to
    show compassion, genuine love and deep concern for their parents but be
    warned that not all children think alike.

    5. Expand your circle of friends to include young ones who will definitely
    outlive your old BFFs. Keep up with new inventions, trends, music and
    lifestyle including all the scams and schemes you should guard against.
    Remember that when you mix with the young, you also open a fresh avenue to
    channel your thoughts, experiences and values through so that the lessons
    you learned are not lost, forgotten or buried with you.

    6. Be well groomed and smelling fresh of spring water all the time. There's
    nothing more depressing than seeing people exhale when you walk by because
    you reek of baul (camphor chest) or lupa (dirt). Old age or bust, don't
    look and smell like a corpse when you're not one yet.

    7. Do not meddle in the life of your children. If they ask for your
    counsel, give it, but be ready to accept that they may not take it. Their
    situations in life cannot be compared to the situations that you
    experienced in your life. The playing field has changed and they need to
    develop their own set of survival skills. If you raised them to be street
    smart, they can handle themselves in tough situations and be able to read
    people. Champion and encourage their dreams and desires but on their own
    terms.

    8. Do not use old age as your shield and justification for turning grumpy.
    There's nothing more annoying than an arrogant, old fool. Welcome each day
    as another chance to be kind and forgiving, to yourself and to others.

    9. Listen to what others may say. Do not throw your weight around just
    because you are a septuagenarian or a nonagenarian. You are not a
    depository of knowledge. Even if the roles have been reversed, make growing
    old a fun-filled, pleasant experience for you and your brood.

    10. Pray always and focus on your eternal life. You will definitely leave
    everything behind, a final journey detached from burden and care. Be more
    accepting that, sooner, not later, you will croak. Prepare your swan song
    with a humble and contrite heart. If you believe in a merciful and loving
    God, there is no need to strut like a star. Nobody is.

     



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